Tuesday, September 20, 2016

[Tuesday Love Song : Gnash - I Hate U, I Love U]






Feeling used, but I'm still missing you
And I can't see the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to, but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her



I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text, but then I nevermind that shit
I got these feelings, but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me, but your friends don't know
If you wanted me, you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go

I don't mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song

All alone, I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care, you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah, all alone, I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me



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Monday, September 12, 2016

[5 Sebab Perempuan Takut Nak Kahwin]


Salam Korang ! Hai !

Peanut baru-baru ni rajin pulak nak mengodek-godek entry lama kat blog nil. Mostly zaman peanut muda remaja masih bergelar pelajar lagi. Time rajin sampai sanggup pergi lab time laptop rosak semata-mata nak update blog. Yang paling menarik perhatian peanut ialah entry mengenai Lima Sebab Kenapa Perempuan Nak Kahwin Awal yang ditulis pada tahun 2011 ketika peanut berusia 21 tahun.

Ya. Lima tahun selepas entry itu ditulis, peanut masih belum kahwin. Tadaaaa. Dan tetiba datang idea nak tulis kenapa peanut tak kahwin-kahwin lagi. There was a lot a reason tpi rasenya lima ni lah yang paling penting.


1) Statistik Kes Penceraian Muda Semakin Meningkat

Yang ni memang peanut akui di antara sebab peanut sendiri takut nak kahwin awal. Ye, pengalaman kawan-kawan. Ramai yang dah kahwin bagi nasihat "As orang dah kahwin, aku nasihatkan ko jangan gopoh-gopoh nak kahwin macam aku" , ayat macam tu pun dah buat aku fikir nambelas kali. scarry kah life orang dah kahwin ni sampai kawan aku bagi ayat macam tu?
Bila dengar jer ada kawan yang bercerai muda, terus rasa cuak. bila yang bercerai tu plak perempuan yang baik-baik, kiranya calon isteri mithali.perfect. Kalau compare dengan peanut, confirm macam langit dan bumi. If someone nice like her pun kene cerai, how bout me? How bout me yang imperfect segala benda ni? I know it is so stupid to think like that. tapi for single girl yang imperfect, konfirm fikir bukan-bukan. Like how to meet the high expectation dan lain-lain.
Selain tu, facebook dan media sosial juga memainkan peranan penting, lagi-lagi sekarang ada banyak page yang siarkan confession pasal perkahwinan dan viral. Kisah perkahwinan yang kita rasa x kan berlaku di dunia nyata, rupanya tengah berlaku dalam dunia orang lain. kisah macam how family arrange marriage turned to be disaster or kisah macam 10 years lovey dovey tapi marriage last for months jer. Kalau ko single, konfirm ko cuak nak kahwin kan? Like "love doesn't exist anymore"


2) Terlalu Selesa Berdikari

I reaaallly do. I really like to do my things by m self. Name it .pergi beli groceries? pergi renew roadtax? pergi service kereta? pergi tukar tayar kereta? Pergi kenduri kahwin? You name it. I can do it myself. And I don't know how a "husband" fit to my life in all these things. I afraid that i used to do my own things by myself, then I took his role on it.  I really scare , if kenkonon dia feeling x needed since I used to do all things by myself. I think problem ni all career women lalui. Too independent sampai rasa tak perlukan a husband pun in life. 


3) Tiada Pilihan Yang Dirasakan Sesuai

Yup. Salah satu sebab jugak. Bila rasa cam si dia sesuai, rupanya si dia tak suka kita. Bila ada orang yang suka kita, rasa cam " No, i cant live with him".  Ingat senang ke nak pilih teman hidup? bukannya nk pilih teman pergi makan, ni seumur hidup weh. Bukannya hari ni tak suka, esok leh campak dalam tong sampah. I have to learn to tolerate. But with the chosen one. Yang willing to tolerate with my nonsense too. and until now, i cant find anyone worth to spend my life with. 

4) Takut Dengan Tanggungjawab

Yes. I do afraid. I afraid if I can't take responsibility as a wife. Bujang nk tukar ke wife orang ni bukannya sesenang ko tukar relationship kat facebook tu. Macam life changing tau. But a big one. Bukan remaja ke dewasa. Tapi more than that. That's a lot of responsibilities as a wife. Masak. Basuh baju tu semua common weh. Kalau ko tak reti buat, tak yah jadi wife orang. More than that. Like dengar cakap if suami cakap balik raya rumah dia, weh ko sapa nak bantah. Or suami said you cant see your bestfriend anymore, ko kene ikut weh. Banyak lagi tanggungjawab yang mana ko kene involve suami ko dalam big or small decision nak kene buat. Your willingness if husband mintak berenti kerja? Omaigod, i cant even imagine i stop being auditor. Your willingness to cut all connection to outsider , I really cant think i ready for big responsibility in my life. Ko pergilah google sendiri apa tanggugjawab isteri ni. 

5) Jodoh Tak Sampai Lagi

Dan yang paling penting, inilah sebab utama peanut tak kahwin-kahwin lagi. yup sebab jodoh tak sampai-sampai lagi. And If Allah Willing, it will someday.
"Jodoh memang tak kemana. Tapi awak tu kat mana?"

Till next time. Bye! 

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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

[Tuesday Love Song :Charlie Puth Feat Selena Gomez- We Don't Talk Anymore]





CharlieWe don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
Like we used to do

We don't love anymore
What was all of it for
Oh we don't talk anymore
Like we used to do
I just heard you found the one you've been lookin'
You've been lookin' for

I wish I would have known that wasn't me
Cuz even after all this time I still wonder

Why I can't move on
Just the way you did so easily
Don't wanna know
What kinda dress you're wearin' tonight
If he's holdin' onto you so tight
The way I did before

I overdosed
Should've known your love was a game
Now I can't get you out of my brain
Oh it's such a shame

We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
Like we used to do

We don't love anymore
What was all of it for
Oh we don't talk anymore
Like we used to do

SelenaI just hope you're lyin' next to somebody
Who knows how to love you like me
There must be a good reason that you're gone
Every now and then I think you
Might want me to come show up at your door
But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

Don't wanna know
If you're lookin' into her eyes
If she's holdin' onto you so tight the way I did before

I overdosed
Should've known your love was a game
Now I can't get you out of my brain
Oh it's such a shame
BothWe don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
Like we used to do

We don't love anymore
What was all of it for
Oh we don't talk anymore
Like we used to do




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